bartislartfast

RR you can now view more pictures and configure the Mk VI over on the German VW website. The Configuration is limited to entry engines tho. I hope your german is better than mine :-) b

Paddy was walking home late at night from the pub and sees a woman in the shadows. 'Twenty quid.' she whispers. He'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the heck, it's only twenty quid. So they hide in the bushes. They're going 'at it' for a couple of minutes when all of a sudden a light flashes on them --- it's a police officer. 'What's going on here, people?' asks the officer. 'I'm making love to me wife,' Paddy answers indignantly. 'Oh, I'm sorry,' says the cop, 'I didn't know.' 'Well,' Paddy says, 'neither did I, till you shone that light in her face.'

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt mar ried Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd,and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt

A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large a collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side. They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father my children?" She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known, and even did a few things she had never done with any other man. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?" The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says...................... "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf!"

Oh Cock! and I've just put down a deposit for a 56 plate 170 tdi GT... grape look in the VW deutschland web site where it looks like you can configure the GT Sport (at least the pictures look similar to those above). B

Thanks for the help guys. B

Have you guys seen this months CAR Magazine? It has a similar roadtest with the Clio 197, Mini Cooper S, Volco C30 T5, Audi S3, R32, 130i, Astra VXR, Mazda 3 MPS, Focus ST, Leon FR, Golf GTI and the Civic. ...1st place went to the CTR ...2nd place to the Golf GTI B

I've tried the forum search, but I couldn't find a answer to my question. After many failed attempts to convince the missus we (I) need to buy a new MkV GTi, I've decided to remap our MkIV 130 TDi... ...however, I feel this is a risky strategy with the franky crap brakes as they are on the Golf. What Mk IV brake component kits do you recommend to make sure I don't end up 'doing a Hammond' thanks in advance B

I just found today there are three Ed30's in the 'approved used' VW webpage. I did a search for GTI's 'less than 1 yrs old'. One grey one and two black ones if I remember correctly. B

Thanks for the info... B

I've been reading some rumours and spyshots on WCF of the 'facelifted' Mk V. I've also read about the 'R' option coming to German Golfs soon (where I beleive you can choose from a set of options make a 1.4 Golf V look like a 'R' Golf ) What's your thoughts on the facelift or 'R' options coming to the UK soon? TBH I have been very tempted by the GTI ed30 but I would rather hold off and get a facelifted GTI later in the year. The 'R' option sounds a but the bit that interests me is I assume I could spec a GTI with the R32 chrome front factory fitted. cheers, B

There is a Black DSG Ed30 being delivered to my local VW garage next Tues (9th). I'll take photos if I can convince Management (Missus) that we need to go to the garage! B

You don't really need a new car. That's what was going through my mind as I was going to the test drive appointment, in fact I was on the verge of cancelling. Too late, I'm there! And the S3 is outside pride of place waiting for me. The car itself is very understated in looks, but I'm not going to harp on about that as car looks & appeal is a very subjective thing. BTW: dealer banter, get key, dealer banter, leave showroom. unlock, put key in, clutch down, start. Pull-away. Pulling away the clutch is very smooth with a very easy *and light* travel. Much more smooth that my A4 special-ed. Turn out of garage, foot down and BAM a really smooth torquey punch, next gear and the next and the next the same. Wow. The chassis is stiff and puts the power down nicely, very nicely. The car feels light and responsive - no hint of turbo lag, or none that I could descern anyway. Anyway, 10mins later handing the keys back to the dealer the lure of the S3 fix made me involuntary ask about delivery schedules, cost and options. This involuntary thought also forced me to ask when stock cars would be coming in so I could possibly beat the queues. Feck this is how addicts behave. Dealer talk of £30k for a reasonable spec brought me back to reality. £30k for an A3? I don't think so. My heart sank. Oh well, stick with the golf diesel for now then. Ps on the demo average fuel consumption over 1600 miles was 20.1mpg. B

140 km/hr = 87 mph perhaps? She's been looking at the wrong numbers on the speedo!!