PinkPrincess Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 I like this, gets one back for us girls 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius) 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (they don't have enough time) 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions) 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock) (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!) 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties ) 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don't know, it never happened) ( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!) And the personal favorite: 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn) Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour puss ! One for the ladies One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt . Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb... ----------------------------------------------- A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower . " Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. ----------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor ----------------------------------------------------------- Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. ----------------------------------------------- Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. ----------------------------------------------------------- Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 If women are that smart why the f*ck can't they work out how the toilet seat works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted November 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 I know how it works, but why should I do your work, lazy f*ckers.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woppum Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 because we can offer 3-6 pumps of otherwise unobtainable pleasure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 [ QUOTE ] I know how it works, but why should I do your work, lazy f*ckers.. [/ QUOTE ] Your logic is appalling. Men don't care if the seats are up or down so why then is it our job to put it down for you? If you want it down, put the feckin thing down yourselves - it's for you, so by definition for you to do . Unless you're too feckin lazy to do it for yourself or in fact is more likely you don't understand how it works Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brn7y Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 Why should we put it down if you don't leave it up for us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted November 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 Because a toilet seat is there to be down not up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 Another piece of stunning logic. If you want it down - put it down. Hell if I go in the loo and the seat is down - do you know what I do? I pick the seat up! It's not hard! Learn how to do it - you're a big girl, it's not that hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woppum Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 [ QUOTE ] Because a toilet seat is there to be down not up! [/ QUOTE ] We are the ones being curtious by lifting it up so we dont piss all over the seat. Meet us in the middle and lift it up or face a sticky bottom! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wobby Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 On a serious note.... Have you seen the amount of bacteria that comes up (in the air!) out of the toilet when you flush with the seat and cover up? Mostly from a No2 but there is some potential from a No1 ! Having the seat and cover down reduces the risks by a considerable amount Best way is seat and cover down every time especially if you remember to flush Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woppum Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 i eat bacteria for breakfast! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mook Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 Mmmmmm. Nice thought Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davidhodgkinson Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 [ QUOTE ] i eat bacteria for breakfast! [/ QUOTE ] At least he said bacteria ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mort Posted November 5, 2007 Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle ".... a clever woman said that Therefore a man without a woman must be like a bicycle without a fish There's female logic for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big_Al Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Q.What happens to a woman after a year of marriage ? A. She developes Dysons disease. She makes a continuous whining noise and doesn't suck anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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