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2013 Formula 1 Petronas Malaysia Grand Prix


Andy_Bangle
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Daily Mash:

Formula One launches race unfixing probe

F1 BOSSES have launched an investigation after a race somehow became unfixed.

Footage of the Malaysian Grand Prix allegedly shows Sebastian Vettel operating his car in the manner of someone trying to win.

The resulting controversy has left everyone not obsessed by Formula One deeply confused.

A Red Bull team spokesman said: “We take allegations of racing extremely seriously.

“Drivers must remember that this is not a sport but a deeply weird and monotonous pre-programmed entertainment experience that is completely incomprehensible to sane people.

“Kind of like Wacky Races but with odder drivers, more ridiculous-looking cars and lots of girls who look like hookers.”

F1 devotee Julian Cook said: “You could clearly see Vettel trying to accelerate past another car in order to make his car go over the finish line first.

“According to the twisted logic of the bizarre quasi-sport that I love for no apparent reason, this is quite unacceptable.

“If it’s proven that Vettel was trying to win, Bernie Ecclestone should have him thrown into a pit of scorpions.

“Although in some of the countries where they do F1 I think that would considered an excessively humane form of punishment.”

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Bernie Ecclescake was on Sky News last night supporting Sebastian, he said he'd have done the same thing and they want drivers that want to win at all costs.

Can you imagine the size of the smug grin on Seb's face!

And the amount of anger boiling up in Webber, knowing Seb has got away with it, and is actually being praised for being the bad boy, I wonder if the steam coming out of his ears will obscure his view at a crucial moment when he's next to Seb on track!

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I would be shocked if Webber doesn't return the favour or nicely blocks him or punts him off before the end of the season.

Be fantastic if he did. Blocks Seb in the last race of the season when he only needs one extra point to win the WDC therefore, allowing Alonso* to win it :roflmao:

(* okay Luke, or Lewis)

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