Grief / anger / denial

[Twinspark]

Just by way of closing this off.

 

We had the funeral on Monday last week. Obviously, a bit tearful for myself, my brother and his 2 teenage boys (14 and 16) - but we all did the casket carrying.

 

Methodist minister from mum's church was exceptional - sadly the Anglican minister from the (shared) church gave his congregation the wrong time, so many people who should have attended couldn't. Still, there was a good turn out from the Methodists and the manager (and another volunteer) from the charity shop where mum volunteered.

 

We had Nimrod as the music to carry her in and 'The Dying Swan' from Swan Lake as the service ended.

 

Post service drinks were had at a local pub (on St. Paddy's day, too, which made it lively!) - and a big family meal with my brother and his boys, his partner and her little girl plus the in-laws, was had on Monday evening.

 

So, that's it.

 

We saw the solicitor on Wednesday - seems she was getting increasingly confused in her last months, going in to chop and change her will - in the end she revoked the last copy of the will, dying intestate. Solicitor says that's a bit of a blessing given how confused she'd been.

 

Can't imagine what kind of inner hell she'd been going through, as she was putting on a very brave face to those around her - just hope she found the peace that had been missing since dad passed away in 2006.

 

Still feel a bit lost, as I've not really got much family around me now - my in-laws are lovely people, but I often feel a little out of place, as they've very firmly established middle class and I came from a very working class and unionised background (remember my dad striking a lot in the mid 80s) - but the silver lining in this whole sorry episode is that, after 4 years of my mum driving a wedge between me and my brother (and I don't blame her - she was obviously in a really bad place), we now are back as friends and brothers, as we should be.

[Soulboy]

I'm glad something positive is coming from it TS.

I also wonder whether your lack of feeling at the start is a coping mechanism? It sounds like you've been through a lot, and that may be your way of dealing with it?

I was told in the past that I have 'learned' to just block things out when I was young as a self-protection mechanism. This sounds similar.

Regard Death Certs. When we have a client die, we always have to send original Death Certs to every Insurance / Pension / Fund provider. Its a real PITA - they won't accept certified copies, like they do with most other things.

Hope you get a good run in your 40s. Sounds like you deserve it!

[NewNiceMrMe]

I'm pleased to read there is a degree of closure and wish you well in the time to follow, TwinSpark.