Riz Posted August 20, 2004 Report Share Posted August 20, 2004 Ok so im lacking confidence and am abit shy. When it comes to first initial contact with a women i find attractive and want to ask on a date. Is their anyway that i can build my confidence up... any yoga excersises? Riz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brabus Posted August 20, 2004 Report Share Posted August 20, 2004 A pint (or 10!!!) usually does the trick. Failing that do something to make you feel good about yourself...? Top tip; living with your parents at your age is NOT a confidence builder. Spreading your wings and moving out IS. Spread those wings young Riz. You might have to let go of the R32 and buy a banger to make ends meet but it will be worth it in the end. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riz Posted August 20, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2004 Yes i thought about selling the R32 and moving out but being a part of the family business its about the right timing... afterall eventually i will be able to fund my own place once we expand Yes when ive been drinking im ok with talking with women... but being drunk at work wont be good Riz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R32North Posted August 20, 2004 Report Share Posted August 20, 2004 [ QUOTE ] Yes when ive been drinking im ok with talking with women... but being drunk at work wont be good Riz [/ QUOTE ] A work based relationship - good idea ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgera Posted August 20, 2004 Report Share Posted August 20, 2004 I had the same problem mate, no miricle cure I'm afraid. Sometimes you just have to do things. I look at it this way, if it's a women I already know or work with or similar, so being turned down might get awkward, then there's a chance to get more friendly slowley so no need to rush straight in - and time to work out what the answer might be. If we are talking about women you meet on a night out, what's the worst that can happen, she makes you look like a pratt? We all look like that sooner or later, and what have you lost? Nothing, just a good excuse for the next drink. The other thing that might help, talk to a few female friends and find out what approches really don't work. I guess they will say any type of "smooth" line. Other than that, spend a bit of time on yourself, buy some new clothes, get a haircut, anything to make you feel like your looking you best. And go for it.... Looks like the R32's not a fanny magnet then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brabus Posted August 20, 2004 Report Share Posted August 20, 2004 [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Yes when ive been drinking im ok with talking with women... but being drunk at work wont be good Riz [/ QUOTE ] A work based relationship - good idea ?? [/ QUOTE ] And, er....it's a family business Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riz Posted August 20, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2004 [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Yes when ive been drinking im ok with talking with women... but being drunk at work wont be good Riz [/ QUOTE ] A work based relationship - good idea ?? [/ QUOTE ] And, er....it's a family business [/ QUOTE ] Oooops our two shops are based indoors in what is called a market call..... the hairdressers is another shop owned by somebody else... [ QUOTE ] Looks like the R32's not a fanny magnet then? [/ QUOTE ] Actually it does... but im not one to use my car as a "tool" not that type of guy really..... I pass a fianance office call centre everyday and it has nearly a all female working staff who wait outside on the street.... i drive past The car is good but i want a lady for me... and me only..... Riz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R32North Posted August 20, 2004 Report Share Posted August 20, 2004 When you see the girl you like, pick your moment.... confidently walk over, tell her she looks really lovely (nothing soppy or mushy) and say you'd really like it if she go out for a drink or something to eat. Make her feel good about herself and make sure she knows you think she's lovely - it'll work, be sure of that!! Don't try and be something your not, don't act coy or smart, just be relaxed (I know thats not going to be easy) and make her smile - once she smiles of laughs, you've cracked it! Now go get that girl!!! PS - I'm married so what do I know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riz Posted August 20, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2004 Yeah! im going to go and get! Argraaaaah Riz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazza_g Posted August 20, 2004 Report Share Posted August 20, 2004 [ QUOTE ] Now go get that girl!!! PS - I'm married so what do I know [/ QUOTE ] I reckon thats all good advice ! and it must work, as you managed to convince a lady to marry you One more tip, and don't laugh - dancing ! Riz, can you cut shapes on the dancefloor ? Women love a man who can move - apparently it hints to what they are like in other areas than require 'rhythm' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPLiiX Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 Riz 32 - I've got a great chat up line for ya! "excuse me, did you apply for a job with my company?" That should prick up their ears!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soulboy Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 You have to make them laugh Riz! Think of something funny to say (even taking the pi55 out of yourself) and as said previously, get them laughing. I was in the sauna last week (everyone minding there own business) and there were 2 really nice girls in there. This bald bloke walked in and said out loud 'Ill apologise to everyone now as im having a bit of a bad hair day today'. Well everyone just burst out laughing and he got chatting and in the end he arranged to meet one of the girls outside. Be persistent and dont bother if they say 'no'. At least you gave it a go. If you never even ask you will never, ever, ever get a yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riz Posted August 21, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 So much advice Not used any of it today though... Riz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich Posted September 7, 2004 Report Share Posted September 7, 2004 A mate (and yes it really is a mate, its not actually me!) is having the same problem, possibly worse. His confidence is below rock bottom and is just too shy to talk to girls he likes. When ever he does talk to girls he gets too nervous and activates his mouth before his brain and the wrong things come out, like very very bad jokes, or actually insults them badly without realising he has done it! There are 2 of us, plus our girlfriends that keep trying to play match maker for him, but we are not going to get anywhere until his confidence grows, catch 22!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viraje Posted September 7, 2004 Report Share Posted September 7, 2004 Cocaine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riz Posted September 16, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2004 [ QUOTE ] Cocaine? [/ QUOTE ] Dont do drugs..... Riz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
essexr32 Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cocaine? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dont do drugs..... [/ QUOTE ] Ok Riz just ply her with it!!! That should do the Job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarMad Posted October 21, 2004 Report Share Posted October 21, 2004 Chill.. relax.. be yourself and forget about it. The more you look and try the worse it can get. Be happy with yourself and feel confident. Be a little mysterious and funny.. and a lucky lady will fall into your arms before you know it. Oh and I did the sauna thing. Just randomly started talking about what people got just after christmas last year. A very sexy young lady who was in there with her friend started to tell me all about what she had got.. down to some sexy underware.. A week later she came up to me in a local pub and started chatting me up... !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A3sum Posted October 22, 2004 Report Share Posted October 22, 2004 Right im female and all this advice is seriously good stuff (possibly not the coke!) The reason why I chose my bloke was because he was totally himself and made me laugh and laugh! The number one rule is to be confident about yourself dont run the conversation through your head just play it by ear. 'can i buy you a drink' does usually work as it breaks the ice and shows you can be generous even if you get a no at the end of the night. TBH im very happy being a girl we rarely have to worry about this stuff u poor men get it tough sometimes.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riz Posted October 22, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2004 [ QUOTE ] Right im female and all this advice is seriously good stuff (possibly not the coke!) The reason why I chose my bloke was because he was totally himself and made me laugh and laugh! The number one rule is to be confident about yourself dont run the conversation through your head just play it by ear. 'can i buy you a drink' does usually work as it breaks the ice and shows you can be generous even if you get a no at the end of the night. TBH im very happy being a girl we rarely have to worry about this stuff u poor men get it tough sometimes.. [/ QUOTE ] Thank you, its good to get a female prespective sometimes. Riz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A3sum Posted October 22, 2004 Report Share Posted October 22, 2004 No problem i know how bitchy and nasty women can be... heres a tip ... i believe that single girls spend most of their time on the dance floor so try them first Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollox Posted October 22, 2004 Report Share Posted October 22, 2004 Ahh Riz I've never been a 'numbers' man but this is a classic situation where you can apply my "Life is a Game" ™ ideology. Almost every situation you find yourself in in life can be broken down into - a goal - players (including yourself) - key success criteria Focus your attention on the objective, understand the players and work out how to rack up points along the way. Essentially you are at A and need to get to B. If you don't know the way to B its up to you to find a map and plot the best course there. Like getting the best out of a map it really is just common sense and a little logic. Like any route, there are shortcuts (key success criteria). You learn the shortcuts by understanding the people involved. Shortcuts get you to where you're going faster. I'm certainly not saying premeditate everything and run off a script however funny that would be to watch. You know your goal and you know yourself so what you need to know is who you're dealing with. I'm not going to sit here and classify women cos I'll get killed but I think you can look and listen to people and perhaps work out 25-50% of their personality just from that initial observation. Thats going to define your strategy. This is really dangerous (i'm ducking already) but you'll probably be able to classify into girls lookin for possessions and girls looking for people. With the former get those keys out, lie through your teeth, get the drinks in and you'll either get one week tops or a trophy wife for life. [/hardhat] I wouldn't bother here. Then you have all those intelligent, sweet and interesting girls who want to know about you...ahhhh. This is where its at 1. Stealth/Infiltration/The Sleeper/The Gay Man Approach. This is the daddy. Be yourself, get into their circle of friends, relax, don't try anything. Give them all the time in the world to observe you, to have their thoughts. Concentrate on just being yourself and having fun. Make sure you're never arrogant. Never appear threatening just do what you do. Make sure your sense of humour is allowed to wander free. If you have what they want they will eventually see it and they will come and find it. If you're lucky they might even wonder why you haven't approached them and they might even try that bit harder when they do come a 'knockin 2. The Tao of Steve As relayed to you in Sep 'O3! Have you tried it? At least it will make life funny 3. Learn Magic tricks. 100% SUREFIRE. Deal done. 4. Just make them laugh. Confidence comes from all of the above - i.e. just understanding whats going on around you and what you want. Booze might help but too much of it and you're only ever going to get a week out of the situation, as above. Right im getting into my woman-proof bunker Oh and if you ever want a litmus test as to how you're doing, drop in an ever so cheeky innuendo. Nothing disgusting but watch the response. If it gets brushed aside or ignored you're going nowhere but if a cheeky retort and/or a grin comes back then you're in business Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soulboy Posted October 23, 2004 Report Share Posted October 23, 2004 [ QUOTE ] TBH im very happy being a girl we rarely have to worry about this stuff u poor men get it tough sometimes.. [/ QUOTE ] You must be kidding!!! Its the best sport on the planet, chatting up goyls. although my wife isn't too keen....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s4dreamer Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 If you've got any relatives with babies or cute young children, offer to take them out. Off to Meadowhall on Saturday and it'll be sure fire success. I don't know what it is but single women just can't help themselves when there's a bloke on his own with a cute baby/young child. It breaks the ice and from there, you're away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scooby_simon Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 [ QUOTE ] If you've got any relatives with babies or cute young children, offer to take them out. Off to Meadowhall on Saturday and it'll be sure fire success. I don't know what it is but single women just can't help themselves when there's a bloke on his own with a cute baby/young child. It breaks the ice and from there, you're away [/ QUOTE ] 100% sure fire way.... Take my kids out on my own and I can usually get chatting to some lurvly young things, Ripspeed Girls included My kids must be cute 'cos I'm as ugly as f..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now