ian_m Posted July 15, 2005 Report Share Posted July 15, 2005 So, seeing as I managed to get myself involved in the most unhappy relationship of my life the last time I dabbled, I thought would ask you all for some help! Any pearls of wisdom??? A female friend of mine said I should take flowers, personally I think that is a bit OTT or maybe old fashioned, anyway I am obviously useless at all this as I am back in this situation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopsta Posted July 15, 2005 Report Share Posted July 15, 2005 i agree.. too cliche for date 1.. more 2 or even 3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian_m Posted July 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2005 thats what I said to my friend! it reminded me of that episode of Only fools where delboy was standing under the clock at the station its ok I definitely wont be taking flowers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted July 15, 2005 Report Share Posted July 15, 2005 Wow, we're in the same boat at the same time. Apparently the ladies like movie style first dates - but that's the opinion of one lady (not the one I'm after, might I add). And I don't think it'd work very effectively at 17. But at 26 it could work a charm. Just don't model yourself on anyone. Where're you taking her? If it's for a meal, just order an expensive bottle of red wine or something like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian_m Posted July 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2005 yeah we are going out in the day, as we are both on a day off, but yes we are going out for a meal!! I will be driving though so I wont be drinking!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparky Posted July 15, 2005 Report Share Posted July 15, 2005 Mate, don't take a gift, for reasons others have said. After speaking with female friends, the concensus is just be polite (you'll struggle), courteous (again, problems) and do simple things like open the door for her, pull back her chair so she can sit down at the dinner table etc... They said that men don't do this anymore because women used to find it fussy, but really, it's something they like and is all to often missing. Listen to her and let her do most the speaking and she'll think the whole night went well. Good luck mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian_m Posted July 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2005 cheers buddy!! and for the record, I can do polite and courteous!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a4tdi130 Posted July 15, 2005 Report Share Posted July 15, 2005 And if all else fails, take your CS gas, telescopic night stick and handcuffs. Shame they haven't finished the Tazer trials Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian_m Posted July 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorburn Posted July 15, 2005 Report Share Posted July 15, 2005 Kinky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insurance Jon Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 damn right...sounds like the way we woo the local girls in Castleford! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insurance Jon Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 i was obviously referrring to the bondage tackle not he flowers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 A nice drink down by the river after the meal will be nice and could put a good mood on things that may take things a step further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarMad Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 My other half said be yourself from the start. If you don't do certain things or don't like things then say. She might like you for you, not the you that you might put on to impress. And start as you mean to go on so you don't have the well... it wasn't like that at the start, I mean in a good way. Good look mate and relax, they aren't all like your X. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saab Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 Very best of luck, very nerve wracking from what I can remember! I agree that a bunch of flowers is a bad idea - she isn't going to want to be carrying round an armful of rapidly wilting roses if you are spending a hot summer's day together. Little touches like holding doors open and letting her walk through first are easy and will go down well. Remembering to laugh at her jokes is important even if they aren't funny. Ask her lots of questions about her interests and work and family etc and you can't really go too far wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 [ QUOTE ] Ask her lots of questions about her interests and work and family etc and you can't really go too far wrong. [/ QUOTE ] I was asked all those on the phone last night - thought nothing of it. We blokes are obviously far different from the ladies. I also got asked if I do/have ever smoked/done drugs/nicked anything/that kinda thing - I answered no to all (and in all honesty too) and so did she when I asked back (except she tried a cig)....I advise you don't ask those questions, Ian! But yeah, good advice there from Mrs. CarMad. It does sort of make sense to say and do things simply to impress, but that's not the true you she may/may not like, so being yourself from the start probably is the best option! Good luck and have fun, dude! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shark_90 Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 I did the first date thing last night too. Seemed to be going really well until she started sending/recieving a lot of text messages and then declared she'd forgotten to feed her hamster and requested to be taken home. A hint perhaps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopsta Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 You reckon ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a4tdi130 Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 [ QUOTE ] declared she'd forgotten to feed her hamster and requested to be taken home. A hint perhaps? [/ QUOTE ] Now that is just classic! Who were the text messages from, the bloody hamster saying "I'm starving"? Now are you sure you didn't miss-hear her, are you sure rather than saying "my hamster is hungry" she didn't say "my beaver needs stuffing"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollox Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 Shark, it may well have been a hint - the key point is did you go in with her or did you just drop her off? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 Like I said, maybe you got a hooker by accident. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 A_S Definately no gifts, flowers etc. The price of the meal is irrelevant. Be yourself and talk about HER. Listen. The word 'you' said in the right way can be a very clever way of getting behind any defences a woman puts up. Eye contact - keep it, but not over-bearingly....it can un-nerve the wrong woman. Confident - be it. But not over-powering. Finally.... Don't ask if she swallows. It can spoil things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insurance Jon Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 thats where I keep going wrong then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 [ QUOTE ] The word 'you' said in the right way can be a very clever way of getting behind any defences a woman puts up. [/ QUOTE ] What exactly is this right way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] The word 'you' said in the right way can be a very clever way of getting behind any defences a woman puts up. [/ QUOTE ] What exactly is this right way? [/ QUOTE ] In certain phrases. I think you this, I think you'd that. I'd say you etc etc. It was on some programme a few years back when they scripted comments for the same bloke to say but with different tonal approaches too. It said the word 'you', used in the right way (timing was important too) could either make or break a date... Scary stuff eh. What do I care, I'm married. Obviously didn't work for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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