Jump to content

Cats and dogs...


Recommended Posts

A Dog's Diary

> 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!

> 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

> 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

> Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!

> 2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!

> 3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

> 4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!

> 6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!

> 7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!

> 8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

> 9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!

> 11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!




> A Cat's Diary

> Day 183 of my captivity.

> My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

> They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

> The

> only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild

> satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another

> house plant.

> Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while

> they

> were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the

> stairs.

> In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again

> induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must try this on their

> bed.

> Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to

> make

> them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their

> hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty

> cat

> I was. This is not working according to plan.

> There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in

> solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise

> and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was

> due

> to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what

> this

> is and how to use it to my advantage.

> I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog

> is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously

> a

> half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He

> speaks

> with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his

> current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

> But I can wait.

> It's only a matter of time..................................


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in

Sign In Now

  • Create New...