M8CKN Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 As previously stated my 2 kids, 12 and 7 year old boys, live with their mum and her latest boyfriend who is apparently soon going to be their step dad. Youngest lad seems to get on fine with him, but my eldest and him have never hit it off and constantly fall out in spectacular fashion, leaving JR with all his gadgets confiscated and him, his mum as and her bf arguing. I see him as a bit of a bully, as his 2 kids and my youngest he can control but my eldest is a different prospect, and will happily argue his corner. Anyway, tonight the boyfriend has come home and immediately got in my kids face, at which point my boy has pushed him away. The boyfriend has then shoved him over backwards, hurting him on a wall. This was we quite fortunate as he was stood at the top of the stairs and could have gone down them. Every bone in me wants to go over there and take the guys head off his shoulders. What would you do? (Serious answers please+++) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 (edited) I edited my initial response to this. He has no right to push your son, be it retaliatory or not. Your son is 12? Go around there and tell him if he ever pushes him again you'll put him on the floor. I would. Oh and I said that a lot more bluntly in my original post and then decided I needed to control my temper and reaction a little. Nobody pushes a child, nobody. Dad, step dad, stranger, I don't care. You do not physically push a child. Never. No matter what. Edited March 7, 2014 by NewNiceMrMe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 What he said. Without any shadow of a doubt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuprabob Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 (edited) I don't have any kids, so.I'll maybe give a slightly different perspective. First thing to do is confirm the facts with your ex as I'm sure she doesn't want to see her son hurt anymore than you do. Not saying this is case but as I'm sure you know kid's can bend the truth in their favour, especially if someone tjey don't like is the culprit. If the the facts are confirmed then go round and have a word in his ear. Edited March 7, 2014 by Cuprabob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 (edited) Very difficult situation. I can't imagine what's is like having someone apart from his mum telling what's right and wrong. If I found out that my ex wife's partner pushed my child over I must admit I'd be round there and would probably have a complete freak out. Red mist would be everywhere. It maybe better to calm down first and take a rational approach but I'm not sure I'd be able too. How do you get on with your ex? Edited March 7, 2014 by Luke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Very easy for me to say with no kids, but I'd beat the living fück out of him. Somewhere well away from the children and ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M8CKN Posted March 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Facts are confirmed, and ex apparently tore him a new a-hole. After the event, ex and bf argued again, and bf stormed off passing my son and shouted "this is all your f'ing fault" at him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waylander Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 I don't disagree with that has been said before. Just make sure you know the circumstances of their argument though when you said he was "in his face". After all he will be expected to show some respect to the BF if not necessarily befriend him etc. Once you have it, maybe show you are in control of your emotions and make clear you expect mutual civility....but that better be the last you ever hear of any physicality..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M8CKN Posted March 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Waylander, my thoughts exactly. I'm taking them home Sunday and intend to talk to him then. Youngest confirmed he was 6" from him in a threatening manner. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M8CKN Posted March 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 I've always told them to have respect for any adult and any of their mums boyfriends, but just yesterday son said he looked at bf who was scoweling at him and he said " what's up, what have I done?" For that, he was told to go away and had his laptop taken off him for being cheeky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuprabob Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 I think that's the right thing to do. Gives a chance for everyone to calm down and you the opportunity to do a bit more digging and then tell him on Sunday, that if he touches him again, you won't be responsible for your actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saab Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 My gut feeling would be to kill him. However it sounds like your ex has taken it seriously. You run the risk of making a bad situation much worse if you go steaming in, so it might be worth holding back and thinking about your options. You need to decide what is best for your kids not what you would like to do. Is it safe for them to remain in the house with him? If not take legal advice about the best thing to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M8CKN Posted March 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Saab, I wouldn't take legal advice I'd just remove them and deal with it then. Don't think I'd have too many problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milo Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 (edited) I've skipped the replies. I know what I would do in your situation G. Edit - having looked at your posts, it would be even clearer. Your ex knows he's in the wrong so you'll not get grief from there. I'd pin the **** to the wall and make it plainly clear it he ever even thought about raising a finger against my flesh and blood again, he could find himself in a ditch. Edited March 7, 2014 by Milo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M8CKN Posted March 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 I'm hoping ex and bf argue like fcuk all weekend and on Sunday his bags are packed. Milo, want and should do are very different things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Without doubt, I fücking hated my mums second husband and my dads second wife. I would never refer to them as step father/mother. I told both of them too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milo Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 I'm hoping ex and bf argue like fcuk all weekend and on Sunday his bags are packed. Milo, want and should do are very different things I've edited my reply. I agree with what you're saying but there's a line that if crossed, is a game changer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saab Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Yes mate after I posted that I did realise that the only thing to do if they were in an unsafe situation would be to remove them without delay. I hope that isn't the case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waylander Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Waylander, my thoughts exactly. I'm taking them home Sunday and intend to talk to him then. Youngest confirmed he was 6" from him in a threatening manner. And in the meantime your hot new wife needs to give you tlc to help you calm down. Win-win I admire your composure during a very difficult situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M8CKN Posted March 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Thanks, but if you saw me right now you would think differently!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Before I had a child, I'd just say warn him. Now I've got a son I'd be tempted to destroy him, but on reflection I'd say a quiet and very meaningful word in his ear. I'd like to think that I'd come across as sincere as he could possibly imagine, and if it happened again he would suffer the very dire consequences. Sometimes the most frightening actions are those that are implied. Aside from anything else, you don't want yourself on charges, sad as that is. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waylander Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Thanks, but if you saw me right now you would think differently!!! in which case you need the paragraph above Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm Chris Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Tell the ex wife and bf that you want to see them both on Sunday (otherwise the cowardly ar5e will be elsewhere on Sunday). A face to face is the best way to judge the situation. I'd be asking him how he'd feel if the position had be reversed and it was one of his children getting it from his ex wife's new man. Now depending on how that is taken gives you a realistic understanding of remorse. I'd also be asking him how his employers, how his ex wife and how anyone else in his life would feel about him should an assault charged be raised via the police, the domestic abuse unit and child line. If he ends up crying with fear then maybe you've done enough, if he insists that it was the right reaction give the circumstances push his bollocks through his face 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milo Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 .....push his bollocks through his face What he said 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milo Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Anyone who can threaten a kid is a bully. End of. What kind of person can raise a hand to kid? I struggle to raise my voice. There's absolutely no excuse in my book. There's no grey area whereby an adult can give any excuse for it (I roughly know the age of your kids G, so we're not talking about a 17 year old giving his mum's partner grief). Give him a taste of his own medicine, ****ing coward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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