CouncilMotors Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 And why do BMW salesmen all have spiky hair and Next suits? Drove this car extensively last week and it's shite. Looking like the alliance between a flame surfaced Kia Rio and a clown's shoe it's another example of Chris T Bangle and his Hare Krishna chanting rabble of young disciples having a bit too much California sun. No rear room, poor visibility, nasty engines, cobbly ride. Yep, another world beater from the visionaries who brought you the X3. No doubt the trendy ****ers of this world will be queing up to buy this sack of poo, oblivious to the fact that the old model Ford Focus is a better car. According to Autocar it's 'stunning'. The only way you could be stunned is a) when an uninsured C plate Cavalier ran into the back of you and b) you realise you could have bought a 3 Series. Or an IS200. Or a 350Z. £20 grand? Buy a Focus and blow the rest on high class prostitutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felixthecat1 Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 Oh stop it, stop it will ya. You're killing me. I've not been in one but I have seen two on the road and it does look shite. I want to know why BMW feel the need to further devalue their brand. Most people already hate it as it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xspencex Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 [ QUOTE ] £20 grand? Buy a Focus and blow the rest on high class prostitutes. [/ QUOTE ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snail Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 @ council motors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UBM Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 Couldn't agree more - had one tried to "blow me away" on the M11 - showed him who was boss as he almost missed his junction! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyDazzler Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 I'm in a rush. I've just come back from my speed reading course, and I'm off to the BMW dealer now to buy a 1-series. In just five posts, there have been references to w*nks, prostitutes, and being blown on the M11. I take it that these are the incentives rather than give a discount?? I just hope I don't get served by a bloke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CouncilMotors Posted November 7, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 Apparently BMW dealers have an internal code system for the 1 Series. 116i is SHBAG (Should have bought a Golf) 118iSE is WSYCAMO (We saw you coming a mile off) 118d CCBSTTL (Company car budget stretched to the limit) 120d CFAB (Candy from a baby) 120iSE is YWRM (You were robbed mate) Also, X3 is DYKHSYL (Do you know how stupid you look?) E60 5 Series is NAGATOO (Not as good as the old one) E65 7 Series is ARCSOW (Are you completely stupid, or what?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FridgeFreezer Posted November 7, 2004 Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 I had to fix the phones in a BMW dealers the other day - I couldn't get out of there fast enough before I had to vomit. All those smarmy twats with slick hair and purple shirts swanning around the fugly motors. Pass the bucket! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loddrik Posted November 7, 2004 Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 Get a life, you are a load of d*ckheads, never heard such shite in all my life, I really feel sorry for all of you and can only assume you are all aged around 12. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlickDizzy Posted November 7, 2004 Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 [ QUOTE ] Get a life, you are a load of d*ckheads <font color="red">[albeit with very good taste]</font>, never heard such <font color="red">[true]</font> shite in all my life, I really feel sorry for all of you <font color="red">[having to feel the pain of the 1-series' existence]</font> and can only assume you are all aged around <font color="red">[enough to enjoy the taste of a]</font> 12 <font color="red">[year old scotch]</font>. [/ QUOTE ] I thought most people would mitake the entent of your message. Had to make an edit there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazza_g Posted November 7, 2004 Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 [ QUOTE ] Looking like the <font color="red"> unholy </font> alliance between a flame surfaced Kia Rio and a clown's shoe [/ QUOTE ] classic stuff ! Just a slight edit added to show the strength of my feelings on that travesty [ QUOTE ] £20 grand? Buy a Focus and blow the rest on high class prostitutes. [/ QUOTE ] now there's a plan ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loddrik Posted November 7, 2004 Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 [ QUOTE ] I thought most people would mitake the entent of your message. Had to make an edit there. [/ QUOTE ] Wow, you are really witty, erm, excuse me while I make a note to ignore in future (ouch my aching sides) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlickDizzy Posted November 7, 2004 Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] I thought most people would mitake the entent of your message. Had to make an edit there. [/ QUOTE ] Wow, you are really witty, erm, excuse me while I make a note to ignore in future (ouch my aching sides) [/ QUOTE ] But am I really so wrong? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
N3WOB Posted November 7, 2004 Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 Off topic but Lodders, missing your old avatar so thought I'd have a bash at recreating... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CouncilMotors Posted November 7, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 Ahh, bless. Little Soldier's got a temper. BMW used to make some really nice cars, once. Ahh, happy days. And Bangle styled your Coupe Mate, back in the days when he was told what to do. We all know he's a lunatic but he didn't style any of the current garbage, just took some nasty designs from his slobbering entourage and convinced the gullible Germans that they were the way backwards...I mean forwards. "I-Drive - the answer to a question nobody asked" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loddrik Posted November 7, 2004 Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 [ QUOTE ] "I-Drive - the answer to a question nobody asked" [/ QUOTE ] You should have used Harvard referencing, this was a quote from Autocar wheb they first tested the 7. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Depresion Posted November 8, 2004 Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 The 1 series is the epitome of badge over substance. Then again the entire BMW range has slipped that way over the past couple of decades. The build quality has gone out of the window in the last couple of years to the point that courtesy cars with less than 1000 miles on the clock are falling apart, the electronic ordering and build tracking is totally screwed they couldn't even get the paint colour right on the first mini (ordered green got silver!) the rest of the spec was way off as well. If that's not bad enough they have by far the worst dealer network I have ever used. You can bet the S won't see a dealer once the TLC & warranty is up just like the BM doesn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollox Posted November 8, 2004 Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 Ahh Lodders, our resident BMW brand guardian! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac Posted November 8, 2004 Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 [ QUOTE ] Ahh, bless. Little Soldier's got a temper. [/ QUOTE ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CouncilMotors Posted November 8, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 Believe me, we were using that phrase long before Autocar used it.......... Unlike: Stunning New Mondeo Stunning New 5 Series Stunning New Armitage Shanks 116iSE Fagtronic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac Posted November 8, 2004 Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 [ QUOTE ] Get a life, you are a load of d*ckheads, never heard such shite in all my life, I really feel sorry for all of you and can only assume you are all aged around 12. [/ QUOTE ] I'm sure what he meant to say was 'Welcome to Tyresmoke' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted November 8, 2004 Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 [ QUOTE ] Ahh, bless. Little Soldier's got a temper. BMW used to make some really nice cars, once. Ahh, happy days. And Bangle styled your Coupe Mate, back in the days when he was told what to do. We all know he's a lunatic [/ QUOTE ] Bawahahahahah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted November 8, 2004 Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 [ QUOTE ] Believe me, we were using that phrase long before Autocar used it.......... Unlike: Stunning New Mondeo Stunning New 5 Series Stunning New Armitage Shanks 116iSE Fagtronic [/ QUOTE ] Please stop .. I'm crying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Killmode9 Posted November 8, 2004 Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 I thought this section was to be the home of motoring satire not the let's-all-have-a-go-at-each-other forum. ...All we are saying, is give peace a...etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sniff_AndyD Posted November 8, 2004 Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 Quality humour will always offend someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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