PinkPrincess Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 My husband left me last week He has moved out, taken his things and the car. I haven't felt so alone before, with bringing up 2 children. I just dont know where to start :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Really sorry to hear that, I'm going to avoid the obvious untimely comments about your best mate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patently Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 So sorry to hear that. You're a determined lass, though, you'll manage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Blimey girl! Not a good situation to be in. Did you/could you see it coming? Where are you living and how will you get by? Think practically about stuff and not emotionally - which I know will be very hard for a long while Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Sorry to hear this PinkPrincess. All I can do is wish you well and say that no matter how bad it might feel now, the position/situation will improve and you'll move on. I appreciate that might not be what you want to hear - but it's usually the truth. There'll come a day when it is little but a hazy and distant memory, and bear in mind...you've got your children. That matters more than almost anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 (edited) No I didn't see it coming. Ifeel like I have noone as friends were our friends, plus he staying wuth one of them and sees others weekly. Sad when you only have people on internet to talk to,hey. Im very determined to be a strong mummy to my beautiful girls, but also kerp my own identity. Not that anyone could take that away from me as im very unique looking lol Only good thing is the weight loss but thats through lack of food, but I have bo appetite. im on my phone, sorry for any mistakes, know it bugs you guys. I miss not having people to text/email and I find the evenings extremely lonely, doesn't help I haven't been on my own since I was 13, still scared of thr dark, thunder and lightening etc etc. I'm still in thr family home, trying to sort out benefits but my house is 650 a month, before my bills and council tax. Hummfff looks like me and girls will have to move. Couldn't come at a worse time tbh, I'm having surgery next month, my youngest breng tested for autism and eldests night terrors getting worse. All 3 of ud are under consultants. I have no job either :-( Edited July 25, 2012 by PinkPrincess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Not eating won't help. Try to eat normally or at least eat something when your kids eat. Your kids can pick up on stuff and (hidden) stress from you. Are your parents nearby (sorry if you've told us before, I have a crap memory) to help/talk to? Presume all your friends know? There must be some who you can talk too - without judgement/tale telling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Dads an arse, long story, so no. Mums trying but she works long hours. Friends, very few and very far between. Just need a hug, someone to chat too, buy more about the situation, just to take my mind off o the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian_C Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Hang in there Natalie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Thanks ian, you working today? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian_C Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Yeah in Monday Friday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Humph just need an adult conversation as its all been kiddie talk lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 It's mostly kiddie talk on here, if we're honest. Try and keep yer chin up, for the kids if nothing else. You deserve to find someone who cares, and I'm absolutely sure you will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanG Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Firstly, ask for help, don't be proud or worry about what people think. Ask female friends of they can come around to talk / help with kids, maybe friends with other kids too? If your friends are close to your other half, your situation will feed back to him I am sure. Then talk through the situation, try to understand what has happened and why. Don't get emotional, don't shout, try to focus on the positives and pleasant times together (easy to type, I know). Ask him back to talk, of possible not infront of the kids, just the two of you. Thirdly, do not run to the arms of another. It's very early days in all this, and whilst I don't know the details, what you do now will shape the eventual outcome. I found it better not to move on, but to focus on me and work through these issues as one person, unclouded by others thoughts, judgements and inputs. It's hard, really hard on your own, but I think it was the right thing for me to do. You may be different, but don't do anything too hastily. Can you move in with your mum in the short term? She might appreciate the income / company, and you might appreciate the family support too. I'd he is working, he'll have to give you money for child support, DO NOT invlove the CSA as yet, try to work it out quickly and pleasantly between you. Be strong, I hope things work out for the best for you and the kids I really do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Firstly im safe in my house for now, no I wouldn't move in with my mum lol. To independent to do that, moved out at,17. ive listened to him, he wants space, wether it be a week or a year he doesn't know, doesn't really help with me and thr girls. I ask for help but not many come.oyr mates don't have children so don't understand. Plus I don't have a lot of mares as they ditched me when I got pregnant. Our friends are more his friends so don't feel I can talk to them Have been to cab, sorting finances is a little overwhelming tbh. I'm not going to jump into anyones arms, thats just not me. I just miss having someone to cuddle up with, chat too, text, email. Humph. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 he wants space, wether it be a week or a year he doesn't know. That old chestnut eh, basically translates as he doesn't have the bollox to tell you the truth, you either want to be with someone, or you don't, I don't see any middle ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 I ask for help but not many come.oyr mates don't have children so don't understand. Plus I don't have a lot of mares as they ditched me when I got pregnant. They weren't mates. They were people you knew of. I'd say we (TSN) are more matesy than they were. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 You've just highlighted that I actually have noone :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 You've just highlighted that I actually have noone :-( I know - sorry. Flakey and shallow people like that, are not worth knowing really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 True. Humph. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm Chris Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Life is shite sometimes. Move on, don't waste energy being remorseful of if's and but's, maybe's, doubts or blame. The positive is that you get to start a new stage of life, and be glad for the memories, the kids and the knowledge that comes with experience. You make it sound very final, are you both mature enough to put aside any bad feelings and concentrate on having a amicable split, resolve support and child access issues and both of you considering the kids first? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 if he is positive he.doesn't want me then its his loss but I need tio wait to find that bit out first. The split would always be amicable because I wouldnt want the children affected by this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 (edited) if he is positive he.doesn't want me then its his loss but I need tio wait to find that bit out first. F*ck that, don't wait for him, he's gone, don't allow him an opportunity to come back, he can't have his cake and eat it, if you take him back, how long until he does it again? Tell him you aren't waiting for a decision, he's made his move, and that's that. Every time he fancies banging someone else, he'll just 'need some space'. Keep it amicable, for the kids sake, but you deserve someone who respects you, and want's to be with you. Edited July 25, 2012 by Tipex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 He wouldn't use this time to sleep with others. That I know for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Straight talking Tipex speaks sense. Sorry to hear of the situation, not nice, but as everyone has said be strong for girls AND for you. I know it's easy for us to sit here and type words not going through what you are. However, I'd have a good guess that most on here have been through some nasty times at some point in life and you can take their advice and empathy genuinely. Keep it together, get all the support you can both physically and financially and don't let him dick you about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now