patently Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 if he is positive he doesn't want me then its his loss but I need to wait to find that bit out first. It's not just up to him. You have a say, too. Remember that. Now, that doesn't mean you should necessarily say "no" if he comes back. But, speaking as a another bloke, I can tell you that if he does this once and gets away with it, he'll try again when it suits him. If he comes back, make sure he really wants to. The split would always be amicable because I wouldnt want the children affected by this. Excellent attitude The real challenge is to maintain it when he doesn't appear to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanG Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Not everyone who needs space, needs space to sleep with other people.... Sometimes, fathers struggle with many factors in complicated lives, stressfull careers, difficult or disfunctional relationships, being pushed outside of a 'comfort zone', fear of supporting a new family - all multiplied by the arrival of little ones. Stress of the above and the taboo of male depression and being told to 'man up' or 'just get on with it' mean they don't open up to friends or family and tend to bottle up issues until it becomes too much to deal with. Don't shut the door on him just yet, he could be in a bad place and might just, as he says, need time to get his head straight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Youve hit the nail on the head dan. I love him soooo much, that I'm giving him the space x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
collease Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 I will always be about for you no matter what. All you have to do is speak to me. I agree with Dan though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chick Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Sorry to read this PP. I guess time will tell in all this, it is hard with children on your own, hard but not impossible .. and it does become easier as time goes on. Hopefully things will work out, might not feel like for the best at the time, but that usually is the way it is. Just take one day at a time for now, keep the lines of contact open Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm Chris Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 It's not just up to him. You have a say, too. Remember that.Now, that doesn't mean you should necessarily say "no" if he comes back. But, speaking as a another bloke, I can tell you that if he does this once and gets away with it, he'll try again when it suits him. If he comes back, make sure he really wants to. Excellent attitude The real challenge is to maintain it when he doesn't appear to I bet he's just pissed with playing 3rd fiddle, new baby, baby that is a young person and a Mrs that 'wastes' all her energy on the wee one's. Reality check due for your man, you slip down the rankings when kids are around. Only for a while, but maybe he can't look beyond being selfish and wanting more attention (or the attention he got before no 2 was around). Perhaps he needs to understand the long game. Wife and kids that love him v a few moments (ok a few years) where he needs to accept he is no longer top of the attention league. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
collease Posted July 26, 2012 Report Share Posted July 26, 2012 I meant to say nat that you are one of the strongest people i have ever known and although you have never seen it yourself i have always admired the way you have always come through any problem you have had. You are a terrific mother and a great friend to everyone you have called yours and not only that i am proud to have known you. With all that you have had to go through and still habe ahead of you there will always be people willimg to help you and be there when you need them even if you dont. I hope it works out for the best in the end however that is but your true friends will always be there waiting and wanting to help even if they are not around you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 Have started to get things sorted, but faced with homelessness isn't a nice place to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanG Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 Surely your mum can help? When I separated I was forced to go back to my parents house for a few months whilst I sorted a few things out. It's not to be looked at as failure, in fact, doing so helped me come to terms with things and I also bonded with my folks far more so than when I was younger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
collease Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 Everything will work out in the end. Help is always there from the people around you that care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 Dan if it was just me then yes, but there are my two children, 2 lizards, a rabbit and 4 turtles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shark_90 Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 I'm going through the same thing. It's **** but it's how it is. It's been 3.5 months for me and she hasn't left yet, which she should have done by the end of last week. Losing my son is the biggest thing for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 So sorry hun, its awful isn't it x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 Things will get better. Hound your local housing officer for a place, get the CSA to get your Ex to start contributing, get your CV on the desk of anyone and everyone. You're in Evesham, Morgan are doing really well, why not write a nice personal letter to Charles Morgan outlining your skills (welding, right ?) and eagerness to work for his company. If you want help with letters, drop me a pm, my blagging letters usually hit the spot We might be a bunch of p1ss-takers, but we all care really, good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 It's been 3.5 months for me and she hasn't left yet. I can't wait forever for you, Ben, you do know that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted July 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 Thanks tdk but my mind wouldn't be focused on getting a job. Housing have said 6 months I could wait. 6 months in a b&b :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxyboy Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 I wouldn't mind 6 months in a B&B. Sounds ideal, I'm lucky to get a bowl of honey but loops in the morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 If money is tight, the first thing to do is get rid of the pets, pets aren't cheap and feeding your children is more important. One thing that pisses me right off as a landlord, is a tenant that can't/won't pay their rent, yet they have animals in the house, sort your priorities! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 I wouldn't mind 6 months in a B&B. Sounds ideal, I'm lucky to get a bowl of honey but loops in the morning. You would if you'd seen the B&B's they put you in, not nice family run places, basically it'll be a dirty worn out room in a building full of scum bags, and you won't get breakfast! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 a bowl of honey butt loops Each to their own. Bit too 50shades for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 Have to agree about the animals. Get rid and you'll and kids will be more 'houseable' and it'll save you a fortune in feeding/insurance/vets/housing and worrying. What about Housing Associations? I don't know how they work, so not sure if they are good for you or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sponge Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 Some people would no sooner get rid of a pet than a child. I'm not one of them, by the way, but there are people like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted July 29, 2012 Report Share Posted July 29, 2012 You won't find a job overnight. Start looking now, even if your heart is elsewhere, by the time you've been offered something it will inevitably be months down the road anyway when you'll be back on your feet. Start now or you'll never get anywhere. Lose the pets too. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mort Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Appears to be her last post.....Any one know how she got on ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarMad Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Nope sorry, not sure if anyone is in touch with her still? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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