A cock

[cruiser647 1,493]

Saw one of these, this morning.  Driving an Au ............Insignia.  (Audi wannabe?)

 

On my way to one of the P'Bro parkways to the A1, along a normal road, he was behind me.  We get onto another dual carriageway and he overtakes me (off the slip road) and is into the right hand lane before me.  I wasn't fussed, as my engine is cold and it's a long trip.

He shoots off, goes round the rounabout and down onto another slip road onto the parkway put of town.  He's stuck behind another person.

I catch him up - without trying as the traffic lights actually stayed green for me!!!! 

 

This parkway has been the site of long term widening and has an average 50 zone with cameras all the way to the A1, which is about 3 miles.  Matey is straight out and into the 3rd lane, (obviously) and sits dead on 50.

I never do 50 in these average things, so sit at an indicated 55.......

I catch him up and sit behind him for a while and he's not moving over.  Typical!

 

I do a bad thing and move into the 1st lane at 55.  Undertake and then sit behind someone else at 55 in the 2nd lane.  I could see matey was stressing at this - I was doing more than 50!!!  It looked as if he wanted to speed up to close the gap, but his conscience got in the way and he stuck at 50 until I moved out infront of him - at which time he lost his morales and sat right behind me.  I overtook the other car, and he backed away again.  No, I don't know either!

I moved over to the 1st lane as the road got closer to the A1.  Still in the 50 zone, he lost it completely at that point and sped past me (still in the 50 zone) and made a space in the traffic to allow him down the slip to the A1. 

I gently pulled into a huge gap.  But he was long gone!

 

Maybe see him tomorrow. 

[Arch 1,337]

I think we should have a 'cock' thread for all driving misdemeanor reporting.

 

Or in this case a 'biaatch'.  I was heading out to Boston, Lincs last week on the A17? Tootling along on the inside lane quite happily at a normal speed, glance in my mirror as approaching a couple of slower cars and a lorry, and see a car quite far back sat in the outside lane. Overtaking thin air. Anyway, i indicate, pull out and within a couple of seconds of being out to overtake, the car behind me is on my backside, and I mean ON it. I can't see tyres, nor a plate, nor headlights, nor leading edge of bonnet. I can however see a stupid looking girl with an evil scowl and fillings on lower right 29 & 30. That's how ****ING close she was. She must have been travelling at christ knows what to be on me that quick, i'm guessing in excess of a 100-120. I'm still passing the lorry now and she has made zero attempt to back off to a safe distance so I have gently backed off to around 68mph. She is looking evil now. I pull in gently and off she goes again, straight up behind a CRV and bullies that out of the way and so on. 

 

If there's one thing above everything I hate on the road its a ****ing tailgater with zero idea of a safe distance. 

[garcon magnifique 4,603]

If there's one thing above everything I love on the road it's the look of absolute panic on a tailgating cock's face when you brake test them. 

[Arch 1,337]

If there's one thing above everything I love on the road it's the look of absolute panic on a tailgating cock's face when you brake test them. 

 

It crossed my mind, but i thought better of it with the distance she was at and the vehicles we were overtaking at the time. I think she'd have hit something. Probably me.   

[garcon magnifique 4,603]

There is a time and a place.  And it helps if you're in a shitheap of a Volvo with a towbar.  Then if they do hit you, you can just drive off and leave the front of their car in bits pissing fluid all over lane 3.

 

Hypothetically.

[Arch 1,337]

[patently 4,674]

Overtaking thin air. 

 

I like that and may steal it...

 

a stupid looking girl with an evil scowl and fillings on lower right 29 & 30.

 

:roflmao:

[garcon magnifique 4,603]

Except that patently's version of "overtaking thin air" is that brief airborne interlude before a major diversion off circuit...

[patently 4,674]

Except that patently's version of "overtaking thin air" is that brief airborne interlude before a major diversion off circuit...

 

 

Cruel and hurtful, Mr G.  Especially so given that there's a grain of truth in there

[E-bmw 1,333]

If there's one thing above everything I love on the road it's the look of absolute panic on a tailgating cock's face when you brake test them. 

 

Better still, if they are that close surreptitiously turn on the rear fog lights (which don't normally come on until the lights are actually on) and then turn on the normal lights! FFS! That works well too without danger to self.

[S3Bangs 295]

I must be up for cock catcher of the month, considering the number of cocks I come across every time I get in the car

 

I personally think driving standards in London don't actually exist. Each to his own. Just hope you get where you're going safe with the amount of morons you come across

[garcon magnifique 4,603]

I must be up for cock catcher of the month, considering the number of cocks I come across ...

Careful now. Some might get jealous.

[E-bmw 1,333]

I must be up for cock catcher of the month, considering the number of cocks I come across every time I get in the car

 

OOO ERRR MISSUS!

[M8CKN 1,884]

Re tailgaters, 2 o/s wheels on to the white line closest to the central reservation flicks up masses of stones and all manner of sh17e , straight on to the offending cars bonnet and windscreen causing dents and chips.....I believe

[cruiser647 1,493]

Re tailgaters, 2 o/s wheels on to the white line closest to the central reservation flicks up masses of stones and all manner of sh17e , straight on to the offending cars bonnet and windscreen causing dents and chips.....I believe

 

I like that idea!  Just hope I don't get a nail.....

[M8CKN 1,884]

You'd be surprised how quickly they back off, and the abuse you get as they tear past you when you pull over

[garcon magnifique 4,603]

I accidentally did that to someone previously of this parish on a gravelly road somewhere north of Inverness. I was in my STI, so four wheels kicking up the gravel.

 

He was behind me.

 

In his Lotus Elise.

 

With the roof off.

 

[NewNiceMrMe 3,155]

I'm driving 315 miles to Guildford tomorrow.  On that trip I can be assured of seeing at least 10 cocks, almost all of whom will be on the M1 or A3.

 

I just sigh and get out of their way these days.  Pointless getting wound up and I don't brake-check anyone because if they have a camera in the car I'll probably invalidate my own insurance and also because I can do without the hassle.  I understand why people do it but I don't think it solves anything.

[Ian_C 420]

Ahhhhhhhh I miss having the S4 when someone is tailgating you and the road finally clears / you enter a NSL.  Its not the same in the A3, A4 or 205.

[eldavo69 1,813]

Just make sure that your windscreen washer bottle is full

[ashleywater 185]

If there's one thing above everything I love on the road it's the look of absolute panic on a tailgating cock's face when you brake test them. 

 

 

Jamming on your anchors to scare the retard sh1tless that is stuffed up your asre,is just downright dangerous and could result in someone losing their life and ususally not the life of theTwunt filling your rear view mirror

 

Anyone causing a serious accident by engaging in this practice should be prosecuted, trouble is they ususally end up causing the carnage but not actually being involved in the accident they have just caused

 

Given the prevalence of real time cameras fitted to a host of vehicles these days, engaging in either tail gating brake testing or any other action which is likely to cause an accident is a sure fire way to end up in the dock and losing one's license or even worse one's liberty

 

If you have a need to get busy on the road, just do it on a track day, otherwise known as doing a "Patently"

 

Without wishing to be at all sexist but I must admit to seeing an increase in basically "Lunatic" driving by young women these days, from texting at the wheel to ragging down the outside lane of a quiet motorway at 100mph plus, guess it could be because they are the one's these days that get the good education and jobs and can actually afford a motor, and have a busy lifestyle / social life to deal with

Whereas their generational male counterparts are engaged flipping burgers at the local chew and spew for a living?

 

Anyone else noticed this phenomenon?

[shao_khan 282]

If there's one thing above everything I love on the road it's the look of absolute panic on a tailgating cock's face when you brake test them. 

 

I was out with some of the guys from Silverstone performance centre the other day and he was saying that if you are in fast moving traffic and suddenly notice the Porsche in front with its brake lights flashing - too bad youve hit it.  The problem is I want to know if he was rigt or not now.......

[CarMad 742]

I find that its better to just double or triple the gap to the car in front than brake test these days. 

 

They get just as annoyed and frustrated and I'm less likely to feel their wrath, they just think I'm slow. They just don't seem to get it that I can't go any faster with the 10 cars that are in front of me they seem to be blind to that and only see the car in front of them.

[garcon magnifique 4,603]

For the avoidance of doubt the brake test comment was (mostly) tongue in cheek.

[cruiser647 1,493]

I have the luxury of being able to give them 'the smoke screen' when if I Sport Mode and kickdown.