shark_90 Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Ok guys. My girlfriend went out with her workmates yesterday. She's a dental nurse for a small practice in Huddersfield. I've had my suspicions about her boss being a bit of a perv with comments Heidi has mentioned to me in the past. Last night, it got worse, and worst of all, Heidi doesn't seem to understand that it's a problem. Her boss played a game: Drop the camera on the floor with the flash on. And all 3 girls were wearing skirts. He's 41. The three girls were 25, 19 and 17. They were the only 4 out. Apparently quite a few of his attempted pictures have come out quite well. And Heidi, finds this 'funny' I find it utterly disgusting. Give me strength here guys. So the poll is: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopsta Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 This thread is useless without pics comes to mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhyds Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 I'd have a quiet word with said dentist bloke, if that doesn't work, try out your batting on his head Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chav Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 [ QUOTE ] My girlfriend went out with her workmates yesterday. She's a dental nurse for a small practice in Huddersfield. I've had my suspicions about her boss being a bit of a perv with comments Heidi has mentioned to me in the past. [/ QUOTE ] Decisions, decisions... Slap or sue, slap or sue, slap or sue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malagus Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Go and give him a good talking to, and threat to shove his camera up his a$$ on full zoom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorburn Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Beating him up is only gonna land you in trouble, I'd go have a word though.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollox Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Call the cops - he can get put away for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm Chris Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Conduct unbecoming a professional.. Have a gentle word (he could be a simple prat), mention the BDA- British Dental Association, if necessary. That should do the trick, problem is, you might find the g/f suddenly loses her job? Approach him in a sensible, calm way and suggest that his behaviour is leud, and as such not the way boss / employee's should behave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 I like the idea of the pics, BUT it's their boss, so he should have some morals. A group of similar aged bods is OK, but not a boss>employee thing. For viewing this sort of thing, you can go to Dodgy Phone pics Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomk Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 she shoudl have a quiet word with him and make it clear she has a bf and wants to remain profesinal at work... if he still does it then its a different matter, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazza_g Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 crikey the bloke has got some front ! I agree its not the sort of game that a manager should play with employees, he's overstepping that boundary by a mile. [ QUOTE ] he's a sad pervert with immoral interests in younger girls [/ QUOTE ] Sounds like his interests is rather too healthy - get your gf to put some Depo-Provera in his coffee, its what they use in the USA to perform chemical castration on pervs - he won't even consider doing it again to get his jollies, in fact he will forget what jollies are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a4tdi130 Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 If you go and "have a word with your GF's boss", she won't be your GF for long and probably also won't have a job there for very long. If she thinks it is all a bit of harmless fun, then why do you have a problem with it? Tell her you think it's a problem and that it concerns you, fair enough, but don't go talking to her boss about it without her request/consent as that's out of order. Maybe it's your girlfriend that needs talking to - going out in a skirt and letting him take photo's of her? How many "attempts" did it take before she thought "oh hang on maybe I shouldn't stand there whilst he puts the camera on the floor for the 10th time". Sounds to me like she wanted to have the pictures taken as much as he wanted to take them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saab Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 I'd only have a word with him if my girlfriend asked me to, and even then I'd think carefully. Personally I'd be f****** livid if my girlfriend decided to go and have a go at any of my work colleagues let alone my boss over something I didn't consider an issue. That said I don't consider the situation to be particularly acceptable and I'd make my feelings clear to my girlfriend explaining why I was upset and ask her to try and avoid a similar situation arising again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarMad Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 I have to say what XC90 said is very close to my own view. Whilst her boss is oversteping the mark she let him plain and simple. Its easy for a woman to be very clear she is not happy with what he is doing. You are right to feel funny about it because you are really as unhappy with her as you are her boss. A word to her is needed to at least make her understand why you feel how you do. I for one would be livid with my GF if she did the same thing but I know that she wouldn't. I think he would be in hospital and she is only a very sexy 5ft2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chav Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 XC90 is 100% spot on of course. Bit of a no-brainer if you think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 "Fckin it 'im" should have been your response, Chav. It's a pretty poo situation. I think Sue him. Also, get the pictures off him and pin them on your fridge/favourite message board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GCab Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 [ QUOTE ] If she thinks it is all a bit of harmless fun, then why do you have a problem with it? Tell her you think it's a problem and that it concerns you, fair enough, but don't go talking to her boss about it without her request/consent as that's out of order. [/ QUOTE ] Absolutely . All the "sue him" posturing is missing the point - if she consents and found it funny, then neither the police nor the lawyers are going to take any interest whatsoever. Unless your girlfriend is the 17-year old and claims it's been going on for more than a year... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 How exactly did you find out? Did she just come out with the details 'matter of fact'. If so she was obviously willing to parcpitate. If she was forced to join in and didnt want too, he's in serious employer/employee sh1t. All depends on if she was was happy with what was going on. If she was happy then I'd be asking her how she would feel if one of the girls at work was taking pics of your nob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 As Mollox said - you should call the police, he'd be charged straight away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shark_90 Posted May 26, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Mixed views here I see. Basically, I'm absolutely f'king livid about it. She didn't really know it was happening at the time as the three of them (girls) were dancing. She only found out this morning when he bought the pictures to work (I can only assume digicam?) My original post was rather rushed as I was very busy, so I'll go into the situation a little deeper: When she first started there she didn't like him at all. He's a slimy pervert, and my girlfriend (I'd like to say) is rather attractive. However as the few months have wore on she's got to like him and thinks he's 'harmless' which is what worries me the most. Heidi can be quite naive at times and I don't think she realised quite how big this perverse upskirt thing is on the internet. I told her that it's a big thing (and to be honest I'm rather worried these pictures might end up on the internet) but as it came from me and she was already in a rather "Ben's being an idiot" mood I don't think she really cared what I've told her on the subject. As I said she found out about it this morning and then thought it was quite funny..but I am still utterly disgusted to be honest. He's made comments when he's been out the office such as "Why did it take you so long to answer the phone? Were you licking Claire out in the dentist's chair?" and others that Heidi has mentioned. She laughs, I guess she's used to having attention and thinks it's harmless, but I'm afraid I just cannot deal with anyone talking to my mrs like that. I know they've worked late and been the only ones there at the end of the night before.. I trust Heidi (although I know she can be a little mis-guided when she's had a drink) and it's not like I'm this mega over possesive boyfriend, but it's everyone else, particularly this slimy excuse of a man, that I don't. Heidi is capable of looking after herself, but she does not handle drink very well and I'm scared given the correct circumstances, something could happen. And if any of you know any women that have been abused, you'll know that nothing is justice. If I had a word with this guy, I'd be more worried about losing Heidi than her losing her job. He's admitted himself that he "only employs pretty young girls" and Heidi is the prettiest, and the best dental nurse he's got. I still feel that something needs to be said, as it's completely immoral, and to be honest downright sick. Going down the police route will likely lose me my girlfriend and her job, talking to him will likely lose her too, but if I do nothing.. the nights out on a wednesday could become a regular thing and without sounding too dramatic, it doesn't take more than a few seconds for something to happen, and at 5ft 2 and her build, she's not exactly going to be able to defend herself. It's obvious some of you on here think I'm stupid for having this train of thought at all, and if she thinks it's funny then let it happen. All you 40-somethings out there think how you'd feel if your 17/18/19 year old daughter had some perv your age taking pictures up her skirt. Willing or not, you'd want to kill the bastard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chav Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 [ QUOTE ] She laughs, I guess she's used to having attention and thinks it's harmless, but I'm afraid I just cannot deal with anyone talking to my mrs like that. [/ QUOTE ] from what you've said, you need to either drop it, and stop being so paranoid, or you'll lose her. you need to trust her more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Or she might be shagging him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shark_90 Posted May 26, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Yep. I'm sure that's not the case, as I said her I trust her enough, if not implicitly. It's other people I don't trust. Particularly people who enjoy trying to take upskirt snaps of her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 I'd not tolerate it. He needs a good kicking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GCab Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 [ QUOTE ] Basically, I'm absolutely f'king livid about it. She didn't really know it was happening at the time as the three of them (girls) were dancing. She only found out this morning when he bought the pictures to work (I can only assume digicam?) [/ QUOTE ] Er, never quite understood how this "dropping the camera with the flash on" worked, in your initial post, to be honest. They didn't notice the flash going off ? And was he bending down to set it off ? Surely cameras don't work if you just drop them. It all sounds a lot more willing/jokey/going-along-with-it-for-a-giggle than your longer post above implies. They MUST have known, surely ? After your full story I can understand your cheesed-off ness, but I still think that unless she has a complaint, all this crap of "call the police" from various people is a total waste of time - you are not her legal guardian, she is not a child, and all you'll get for calling the police about it is a clip round the ear, once they find out that she herself has no intention of making a complaint. I think your main problem is that she goes out drinking and dancing with this guy in the first place. That's between you and her; but one thing for sure is that you're not going to sort it out by calling the police about his camera. Even less by trying to beat him up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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